You know, I never really cared what happened to me once I was 45. My kid would be over 18 and out of the house and she’s going to be doing the thing she wants to do. My life has been a bunch of trials and errors and frankly, I’m tired. I had just stopped caring. I lost the purpose of life. I didn’t know why I was here or what was the purpose of me being here. I was just a lost, lost soul. I let life and people defeat me. I simply hadn’t realized it yet. I had to get to an even lower point than I was to get just how much I needed to change it up. I found it. Or shall I say I found him.
I guess the saying that I haven’t gotten over him is slightly true. Because I refuse to allow myself to forget him. He brought a lot of life changes and a lot of eye opening things in my life. For that, I thank him. He, in his own way of trying to destroy me, actually saved me.
I found therapy. But then, I’ve explained this. So moving on….
My Panda had a medical reality check and decided to change his life. He’s not drinking his beloved craft beers like he did before. I mean, he has them sometimes but not the excess he did before. He’s eating better and healthier and he’s changed from lifting to more cardio. I saw this change in him and knew at the beginning that it was going to be a struggle for him. I’m an all or nothing girl. I’m also his partner, his other half, his teammate. From that point on my exact words to him were, I’m gonna be your partner. I’m gonna challenge you to step goals daily. I’m going to ask how your eating is. I’m going to make sure you are taking your meds and being good to yourself. I decided at that moment I would live healthier also. To support him, but also because this is not a bad goal for myself. Eating better, and moving more is only going to help me.
Since then, my Panda got me an Apple watch for Christmas. Since the day after Christmas I have not missed closing all my rings not even one time. He loved the watch so much that he owns one now himself. We challenge each other to see who gets to our goals faster. Some days he gets it being up so early, other days I do because I am off odd days during the week. But we’ve been owning it. I’ve also used my work discount to get one of those Withings scales so I can track my weight and my body masses at the same time. Since January 3, 2017 I have lost 7 lbs alone. I joined my local YMCA. My job gives me a fitness reimbursement for this also, so why not? I haven’t made it there to workout yet, but the option is there.
I also did myself another justice. I’m back in school. I’m taking 2 classes on top of working full time. So far, I’ve taken one test and got a 94% on it. I’m feeling good and wondering why I waited so long to re-enroll again.
So, 2017 has been a fascinating year and a good one so far. I’m overall so happy about the direction I am going in. I’ve found a path for when my daughter leaves. I have a partner now, a life partner, one that wants to make plans for the future with me. I have a reason to keep going and keep fighting. Right now, I feel pretty indestructible.
Let’s do this 2017!