What has happened to me?

It’s 10:30 am and I just got done cooking.

Let’s go back some.

I hate to cook.  I buy freezer stuff that I can just pour some water on and go from there.  I hate to cook.  Hate. Hate. Hate it.  The different cook times.  The fact I can’t get seasoning right.  The fact I overcook out of fear because I’ve undercooked so many times.  I can’t do spice.  Like zero.   Nada.  Zilch.  So when I make food people think it’s bland, oh so horrendously bad.  Those freezer meals are amazing.  No stress, 15 minutes, and wa la, I am master chef me.

But I’m in love.

Gross.  Sappy.  Sickeningly in love.  I can’t even stand listening to myself.  I used to see posts like mine and wanna vomit.  Your relationship isn’t that awesome.  Stop showing off when it’s not like that.  I don’t buy your line of shit.  Gross.  Puke.  DIS-GUST-ING!!!!

It’s true.  That’s me.  I am in love.  Like that kind of love.  LOVEEEEEEE.  I want to shout it off the roof tops and just show it off.  You all bitches wish you were lucky like me.

But back on track.

I just got done cooking.  To take it to him for lunch.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?????  I’m that sappy annoying Facebook posting friend, AND I’m cooking.  Who am I?  *Pinches self*  Yep, I feel that.  This is real.  This is true.  I look the same when I look in the mirror.  Yep, it’s true.  I’m just speechless.

I can’t say it’s a bad thing.  I loved it.  I love knowing that little gestures like this can be done to show him that even when I’m not with him, he’s with me.  He’s worth going out of my comfort zone, come on honey, he’s done it more than enough for you.  Get to it.  Cook!  It also means I can see him today, which is always something that makes me happy.

So, I might not know who I am, but I like where and who I am right now.  I told myself to live in the moment in this relationship, so high five to me for doing it and not just TALKING it.  I won’t deny that he’s worth every moment of it.

I guess I am me.  I’ve just found someone that is worth me taking the time to push my own limits and find other aspects of me.  This is not the first time in the last 24 hours.  I meditated for that first time ever last night.  But we will discuss that another day.

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